Spam

Date: Tue, 24 Jan 2012 19:38:17 -0800 [01/24/2012 09:38:17 PM CST]
From: Opinion Outpost® online-survey@opinionoutpost.com
To: Undisclosed Recipients
Reply-To: opinion.outpstusa@aol.com
Subject: ***SPAM*** Position Title: Customer Feedback Survey nn
Position Title: Customer Feedback Survey

Commission: $150 Per Survey

Start Date: Immediate

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Opinion Outpost
701E Timpanogos Pkwy
Orem,UT 84097
Opinion Outpost®
Opinion Outpost 2002-2011 - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The information contained in this e-mail, and any attachment, is confidential and is intended solely
for the use of the intended recipient. Access, copying or re-use of the e-mail or any attachment, or
any information contained therein, by any other person is not authorized. If you are not the intended
recipient please return the e-mail to the sender and delete it from your computer.

Apparently, since I received it, I’m an ‘intended recipient’. I’m using it to decorate my blog.

Spam

Date: Sun, 22 Jan 2012 02:59:04 +0800 [12:59:04 PM CST]
From: bb zeti-akhtar22@hotmail.my Malaysia
To: Undisclosed Recipients
Reply-To: zeti-akhtar112@hotmail.my
Subject: ***SPAM*** BANK NEGARA MALAYSIA..Payment Notification
BANK NEGARA MALAYSIA
OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY,
THE HONORABLE, GOVERNOR OF BNM.
KUALA LUMPUR.MALAYSIA
Our Ref: BNM/OHG/OXD1/2011
Your Ref…………………………..
PAYMENT FILE: BNM/BEN/06.

ATTENTION: Sir,

Definitely, I know that this letter will be a surprising one to you. Firstly, I will like to introduce myself formally as
Dr.ZETI AKHTAR, The Executive Governor of The BANK NEGARA MALAYSIA (BNM). You are been officially contacted by me today
because your Inheritance Funds were Re-deposited into the \"Federal Suspense Account\” of BNM last week, because you did
not forward your Claim as the Right beneficiary. Well known to all. The BANK NEGARA MALAYSIA is the mother Bank of all
commercial Banks here in MALAYSIA. Really these men were unexpected by me because their visit was impromptu. I had to ask
them why they came to see me in person and they said that they were here to collect the Inheritance Bill Sum of (US
$10.5Million) which rightfully belongs to you, on your behalf. At this development I asked them who authorized them to come
down to MALAYSIA for the Collection of this Payment and they told me that you asked them to come and collect this Funds on
your Behaf.

They actually tendered some Vital Documents which proved that you actually sent them for the Collection of these Funds.
Honestly, it really baffles me that you took such decision without my consent. Here is the Document which they tendered to
this Bank today:

REPLY ME TO THIS BOX :zeti-akhtar112@hotmail.my

1. LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION.
2. HIGH COURT INJUCTION.
3. ORDER TO RELEASE.

Actually, these Documents which they tendered to this Noble Bank are a clear Proof that you sent them to Collect this Funds
for you. Finally, I told them to come back tomorrow morning and they promised to come back. As the Governor of this Noble
Bank, I was supposed to Release this Funds to them but I refused to do so because I wanted to hear from you first. Due to
the Nature of my job, I will not want to make any mistake in Releasing this Funds to anyone except you whom is the
Recognized Beneficiary to this Funds. Kindly clarify us on this issue before we make this Payment to these foreigners whom
came on your behalf.

OFFICIALLY SIGNED.
DR.ZETI AKHTAR.BANK NEGARA MALAYSIA

Most people get up in the morning and repeat the same actions as the day before.

Since I find my morning routine amusing, I’m posting it.

The alarm goes off at 5am. Usually, Elvis (cat) is sitting on my chest or shoulder trying to wake me up. This involves pulling my hair with his teeth, nibbling on my chin, licking my nose, or all of the above. I endure this affection until I decide it would be easier to get up than to continue trying to defend myself. As I get out of bed, Oska (dog) follows me through the transition from pajamas to clothes and basic morning readiness. Elvis goes back to sleep.

Halfway down the stairs, on the right, sits Hobo (cat). He allows Oska and I to pass and arrive on the ground floor.

From the bathroom, a plaintive cry is heard. It’s Hanna (cat), perched on the edge of the bathroom sink, wishing someone would turn the water on to trickle into the sink so she can drink and play. She does this every morning.

Next, it’s time to warm a bucket (large mug) of water in the microwave to make the gourmet beverage known as instant coffee. Once that’s started, Oska and I go outside, where I toss a small MilkBone dog treat, broken into very small (1/4″) pieces, around the front yard. This buys me enough time to drink the aforementioned coffee in relative peace, while Oska cheerfully hunts for the treats and eats them, pausing occasionally to dash and bark as dogs do. Eventually he returns and we do the same thing (toss a treat) indoors. This allows me to finish eating that which sits next to the coffee.

By the time Oska has enjoyed as much of the treats as he can find, it’s time to fill the dishes with kibble and water. Hanna has finished with the sink. If the weather is nice, all the cats go out. If it isn’t, they don’t.

After breakfast I finish getting ready for the day and walk Oska. The walk is more of a meander along the road, with lots of sniffing and random retreats to pursue invisible items of interest. That’s okay, the walk is for Oska.

If the cats went out, they come in after the walk, eat and settle in for naps.

This story starts at about 7am, which is about the time I finished a slice of pumpkin bread and a bucket of coffee.

I’ve had a work lamp for about twenty five years. It is secured to the table with a clamp that includes a wing nut and has never been reliable. No matter how hard I tried to use that clamp with the light, it was simply a matter of time before the lamp gently descended to rest its head on the nearest surface. Although my lamp probably didn’t come from the link, it’s very similar.

At the same time, in the family room, there is a pole lamp. The pole lamp is wonderful! It is the same as the link, and it’s using fluorescent bulbs which are very bright and energy efficient.

The work lamp was charged with illuminating the computer zone - an area with three to six computers, scattered across tables and interspersed with papers, glue sticks, stuffed animals, iTunes cards, unsharpened pencils and various other detritus. It was resting comfortably on the floor, the clamp relaxing in pieces under the toasty radiator. Needless to say, it wasn’t very useful.

The pole lamp eagerly volunteered to light up my world. It stood straight and tall, and cheerfully ducked its bulbs as I carried it from the family room to its new post. I could tell it enjoyed having its base warmed by the radiator.

Next I went out to the garage and got my very favorite power tool, the drill. I took the biggest bit, which is probably a 1/2″, although I can’t be sure because the print is tiny and I don’t care whether it’s exactly right. I drilled a hole in my drafting table, woke up the work lamp and plunked it in the hole. For the first time in twenty five years, the lamp is secure in its post and likely to serve me well.

I carefully put away my Wink light which is the cutest light I’ve ever seen, but not very good for a high quality Wolf Among Birches paint-by-number kit.

I’ve always scoffed at paint-by-numbers, but this one is for Dad. I can paint and think about Dad and when I’m done, I’ll give it to him so he can hang it up.

I can’t wait to take the Wink Light camping …

This is spam. I can say that confidently since sending me out to be a mystery shopper would be pointless. I hate to spend money, anyone’s money.

Date: Sat, 7 Jan 2012 18:08:10 -0800 [08:08:10 PM CST]
From: Human Resource Dept jobalert@jobs.com
To: Undisclosed Recipients
Reply-To: humanresource2011@one.co.il
Subject: ***SPAM*** JOB VACANCY

Hello

Here’s your chance to be a mystery shopper & get paid for shopping and dining out.

Your job will be to evaluate and comment on customer service in a wide Variety of

shops,Stores, in your area.

Weekly Salary: 200$ Weekly

If satisfied you are advice to send your details to the below
humanresource2011@one.co.il

The following information below will be needed to get started

Full Name:
Address (no Po Box):
City: State: Zip code:
Home & Cell No.:
Occupation:
Age:

We look forward to working with you

Anthony Dale