lessons for today

* never leave the house without your keys and cell phone

* replace batteries in remote door openers before they wear out

* use an office swivel chair with wheels if you forget a wheelchair

* put the tomato and basil under the mozzarella, use a good amount of olive oil on the bread

* you can fool a sunfish into eating bits of small sticks, although they will spit them out

* the dog will walk forever if you pretend you can’t tell he’s tired

* climbing through the gate, for no particular reason, is fun

* breaking a single pane of glass may be the cheapest way to enter the house if you’re locked out

* the cat won’t open the door, even if you ring the doorbell

* left long enough, the pasta in the soup will turn to mush

* not everyone likes pumpkinhead ale