The United States Bureau of Fiction and Fun has authorized all employees, including those who aren’t paying income taxes, to take three in-plant vacation days and two in-plant training days.
These days are for self-directed activities, and should be used discreetly as they are never formally authorized by employers.
In-Plant Vacations These days are exactly as named. One must be in the office or facility, however, one need not work. It is recommended that you look like you’re working. Depending on the size of the company, the appearance of work will vary. In a large company, one may disguise the day by carrying a manila folder with three sheets of paper and a pen. Walk purposefully between activities. Authorized activities include chatting with people you like, reading, writing letters, walking, stocking your work space with supplies you need (do not remove the supplies from the building), composing entertaining memos and directives, then hanging them up anonymously, drinking coffee/tea/hot chocolate/water. You will find these days very refreshing. It’s important to note that in-plant vacations are only authorized when you have completed your work. Business before pleasure.
In-Plant Training Since in-plant training may be visible, one must be sure to acquire implicit authorization. Implicit authorization has two forms, the first being that you notified the supervisor you have no assigned tasks and have received no further direction, the the supervisor already knows you have nothing to do, and still hasn’t assigned anything. Training must be job related, however, that is where the restrictions end. Choose something that interests you and pursue it. The only requirement is that the knowledge may be useful for the company in the future. Discretion is advised in this time as it is for the vacations. Choose a topic that you have the necessary resources to work with. Have a clear objective, so you can explain what you’re doing and why it is valuable if necessary (meaning if you get caught). It is best not to publicize your training agenda, and, unless you have extended training time available, it may be better to keep the new knowledge to yourself, until such time as it is valuable.
Key reminders:
- Don’t disturb other people who are busy. After all, they can’t take their vacation until they finish their work. Keep conversations short.
- Don’t consume resources, parts, or supplies which are valuable, or needed for more traditional tasks.
- Don’t extend your vacation beyond that which is authorized.
- Ensure training is valuable.
- Remember that the Bureau of Fiction and Fun isn’t real, and if you try to use this blog post to justify your activities, you may suffer negative consequences.